You know when you have a CD in your car for just that tad too long, and you risk ruining the album because you've listed to it one too many times?! Well, this problem is happening to me.
My car has about 3 CDs in it at the moment...the new (well, no so new now actually) Mumford and Sons album, an old Coldplay album, and a Shane & Shane one I put together just before Christmas. And as much as I love these albums, I'm very bored of them. Having an hour commute to and from work, with only half of that journey being able to get a decent signal on the radio because I live in the hills, I listen to my CDs A LOT. And so I've been in a CD rut for about the past month.
Yesterday marked one whole year since I came home from Germany. (OK, lets take a moment to just dwell on this fact alone. One year. One whole year. Some how that doesn't seem right. I cant have been home that long. It feels like only yesterday since I was chilling with my Bode guys. Craaaazy!) Anyways, so yeah, it's been a year since I got back, and I got to thinking back on my times in Germany; missing the people, the community, the teaching. And then I got thinking about all that's happened this year. I feel like I've come a long way since I was there. I mean, I settled back home, I got a job, I've found a home church. Yet at the same time, I'm also in a similar position as I was this time last year. Some of those 'blank pages' that I had are coming round again, and I feel as though maybe in a year I've almost done a full circle, and I wonder where God is taking me.
One thing I'm wrestling with at the moment is learning to discern the difference between God's will, and my personal desires. Is what I'm wanting to do, the plans that I'm thinking, the possibilities that I'm facing...are these things from God, or are these things actually just me hoping, idealizing, and wishing are from Him.
(You're probably thinking where the heck are you going with this post Steph, I thought you were talking about old CDs?! Just bare with me here...)
When I was in Germany our principle gave us a lecture on 'desiring and doing the will of God'. It was one of those lectures that just sticks in my mind. I remember exactly where I was sitting, who I was sitting next to, what side of the page I wrote on. I remember it being one of my favorite lectures that we had. And I remember ordering it on CD.
So when the year anniversary came of returning home from Bible School, I thought to myself, 'hey, lets listen to a lecture', and immediately I thought of this one. I had about a 45 minute drive to my friends house that day, and knowing I was bored of all my CDs in my car I popped on Peter Reid, and I listened to his wise teaching as I drove to meet up with my friend, and as I drove home. And do you know, it was great. So often in my car I get bored, my mind wanders, and I resent driving because I sometimes feel its like a waste of time. I just want to get to my destination now, I cant be bothered with the process of driving there.
But this journey was awesome. God reminded me of some great truths that I've been forgetting lately. I get frustrated sometimes that I cant see ahead into God plans; that I don't know where I'm going at times; that my pages are left blank and He calls me just to trust Him.
Peter said in his lectures that 'God's design is infinitely greater than our understanding'. Even if God showed me snippets of his plan, there is no way I would understand the greater picture of it. '"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are my ways your ways" says the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher that your ways, and My thoughts higher than your thoughts"' (Isaiah 55:8-9). The Lord simply calls us to trust Him, and commit our ways to Him.
I realize this post has gotten pretty long. Well done to those of you who have made it this far!! Let me finish with a quote by Hannah Whitall Smith I have written in my notes from this lecture...
"If a leading is from the Holy Spirit 'the way will always open for it'. The Lord assures us of this when He says, 'When He puts forth His own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow Him because they know His voice' (John 10:4). He goes before them to open the way, and we are to follow in the way thus opened. It is never a sign of divine leading when a Christian insists on opening his own way, and riding on roughshod over all opposing things. If the Lord goes before us He will open doors before us, and we ourselves shall not need ourselves to hammer them down."
My car has about 3 CDs in it at the moment...the new (well, no so new now actually) Mumford and Sons album, an old Coldplay album, and a Shane & Shane one I put together just before Christmas. And as much as I love these albums, I'm very bored of them. Having an hour commute to and from work, with only half of that journey being able to get a decent signal on the radio because I live in the hills, I listen to my CDs A LOT. And so I've been in a CD rut for about the past month.
Yesterday marked one whole year since I came home from Germany. (OK, lets take a moment to just dwell on this fact alone. One year. One whole year. Some how that doesn't seem right. I cant have been home that long. It feels like only yesterday since I was chilling with my Bode guys. Craaaazy!) Anyways, so yeah, it's been a year since I got back, and I got to thinking back on my times in Germany; missing the people, the community, the teaching. And then I got thinking about all that's happened this year. I feel like I've come a long way since I was there. I mean, I settled back home, I got a job, I've found a home church. Yet at the same time, I'm also in a similar position as I was this time last year. Some of those 'blank pages' that I had are coming round again, and I feel as though maybe in a year I've almost done a full circle, and I wonder where God is taking me.
One thing I'm wrestling with at the moment is learning to discern the difference between God's will, and my personal desires. Is what I'm wanting to do, the plans that I'm thinking, the possibilities that I'm facing...are these things from God, or are these things actually just me hoping, idealizing, and wishing are from Him.
(You're probably thinking where the heck are you going with this post Steph, I thought you were talking about old CDs?! Just bare with me here...)
When I was in Germany our principle gave us a lecture on 'desiring and doing the will of God'. It was one of those lectures that just sticks in my mind. I remember exactly where I was sitting, who I was sitting next to, what side of the page I wrote on. I remember it being one of my favorite lectures that we had. And I remember ordering it on CD.
So when the year anniversary came of returning home from Bible School, I thought to myself, 'hey, lets listen to a lecture', and immediately I thought of this one. I had about a 45 minute drive to my friends house that day, and knowing I was bored of all my CDs in my car I popped on Peter Reid, and I listened to his wise teaching as I drove to meet up with my friend, and as I drove home. And do you know, it was great. So often in my car I get bored, my mind wanders, and I resent driving because I sometimes feel its like a waste of time. I just want to get to my destination now, I cant be bothered with the process of driving there.
But this journey was awesome. God reminded me of some great truths that I've been forgetting lately. I get frustrated sometimes that I cant see ahead into God plans; that I don't know where I'm going at times; that my pages are left blank and He calls me just to trust Him.
Peter said in his lectures that 'God's design is infinitely greater than our understanding'. Even if God showed me snippets of his plan, there is no way I would understand the greater picture of it. '"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are my ways your ways" says the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher that your ways, and My thoughts higher than your thoughts"' (Isaiah 55:8-9). The Lord simply calls us to trust Him, and commit our ways to Him.
I realize this post has gotten pretty long. Well done to those of you who have made it this far!! Let me finish with a quote by Hannah Whitall Smith I have written in my notes from this lecture...
"If a leading is from the Holy Spirit 'the way will always open for it'. The Lord assures us of this when He says, 'When He puts forth His own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow Him because they know His voice' (John 10:4). He goes before them to open the way, and we are to follow in the way thus opened. It is never a sign of divine leading when a Christian insists on opening his own way, and riding on roughshod over all opposing things. If the Lord goes before us He will open doors before us, and we ourselves shall not need ourselves to hammer them down."
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