Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Journals

Not sure if you keep a journal or not, but I do. Granted, sometimes I don't actually write in it as much as I'd like to, but I LOVE it.

OK, now when I say journal, I'm not talking about one of those 'dear diary' kind of things. I don't write in it all I've done for the day, or gush about boys or anything haha! I'm meaning a God journal. One where I can write down prayers and answered prayers, things that God is teaching me, things I'm struggling with, things I'm encouraged by, ways I can see God at work.

Last Sunday I led the prayer and share evening at my Church. I'd only been to it like 2 times before (it's only on once a month or something) and so when I got asked to lead it I wasn't entirely sure what to do for it. I didn't know what to share, and what to lead the group in prayer about. Anyways, the week before it was kind of in the back of my mind, and on my to do list of things that I needed to get done. But that's exactly where it stayed for the whole week...still written on that to do list, and still just at the back of my mind floating around amongst a ton of other things. And so Sunday rolls around, and I'm like 'crap, I'm leading prayer and share tonight, and I have zero planned. Oh heck'.

I sat down at my desk, completely inspiration-less, flicking through my bible looking for an encouraging verse or something. Then I thought 'hey, we could just pray for persecuted Christians around the world, they need prayer right?! I can take in a map, we can look at a few countries  pray for the missionaries there...'. I opened up my laptop and started having a browse through the open doors website and started having a quick read up on some of the countries where it's difficult to live out the Christian faith. Yet, as I was searing for a few facts and case studies on line, it just didn't feel right. I'm not meaning we shouldn't pray for these types of places and the people living there, because they totally need our prayer. But I just felt as though God was telling me I was taking the 'easy way out' in my prep for the prayer and share.

And so I closed my laptop, and was like 'right God, if this isn't the direction you want me to take with tonight, then what is, because I'm running out of time here'. So I sat there a little longer, thinking about all sorts really. I let my mind kind of wander after praying for some inspiration, and I started thinking over the past year. 2012 for me was kind of weird. It's not going down in my books as one of my most enjoyable years, it was pretty tough going. Summer wasn't all that great, autumn was hard, and the past few weeks I've been feeling pretty down and direction-less. Like I'm not really making any progress in life.

I got out some of my old journals that I'd kept that year, and also the one I kept during my time in Germany at bible school, and I started having a read. And I have to say, reading through all of my entries was so awesome. They made me smile so much. I flicked through page after page of things that had happened, things I'd prayed for, I remembered things that I'd learnt, and people that had encouraged me.

And after reading though most of the pages I'd kept, one thing was so evident....

God's faithfulness.

He is so flipping consistent, and so faithful its unreal. Every time that I'd wandered away from Him and His word, He was there waiting for me. Every time I prayed to Him that I'd get closer to him BOOM, he draws me close to him. I noticed that prayer after prayer was answered. I was reminded of things that I had been learning over the past 9 months, and it was just what I needed to be reminded of right then last Sunday afternoon. The verses I had written in my journals were just what I needed to read. Being reminded of this faithfulness was exactly what I needed after a few pretty hard going weeks. He is so awesome, every little detail in His huge plan works out perfectly.

I shared just this at prayer and share. And we discussed as a group the ways that we have seen God at work over the past year, the prayers that we have seen answered, the things that we have learnt or been encouraged by.

If you don't keep a journal, I'd seriously encourage you to. I mean, we're at the start of a new year (...well, we're like 15 days into it now, that's pretty much still the start right?!), its a perfect time to start I'd say.